ValUable

The definition of valuable is a thing that is of great worth.  Some synonyms for the word are costly, valued, rich, dear, useful, and expensive.  We define things in our culture today by their value to us.  Some of us think of money as value.  Let me tell you why!  Because $100 equals 5 pairs of shoes [if you’re a bargain shopper!  :-)].  Sorry, I couldn’t resist.  Money is valuable because of what it can buy us, but there are some people in the world, who don’t put much focus on money.  Their value is found in family, friends, helping others, a garden, a car, a house, etc.  There are countless things that have value, and value is a subjective category because I would certainly not find much value in going to a baseball game.  My husband, on the other hand, enjoys watching baseball, so there’s value in those for him.  Attached to value is enjoyment.  Learning to enjoying things that are valuable is not often hard to do, but other times it is.

How can that be so?  Did you ever met someone who was miserable?  Who’s life was kind of in a mess, but they didn’t value changing it?  That’s hard for me to understand.  Because my life was a mess not too long ago, but I wanted things to be different.  The things I needed were difficult to value because they were hard to do, but today I see the value in it. Things have changed. My life is not filled with anxiety and pressure and lack of focus and spinning out of control.  But I see now that I valued the change.  I valued how life could be different if I was willing to let go of worry, fear, and helplessness.  But I also valued how life could change from letting go of something good like the teaching job I had.  I have not regretted that decision because it has taken me further and let me do more good, even with less money, than I could have with it.

Some of you might be thinking I made a typo in my title.  Nope, that was on purpose.  I capitalized the U in valuable because I think every mom, dad, spouse, son, daughter, friend, relative, person needs to know that you are valuable.  What you are doing in the life of your kids, spouse, friends, relatives, employees, customers, etc is priceless.  Do you see it that way?  Most of us don’t.  Honestly, until a few months ago, I didn’t see things that way either.

1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”  This is the famous chapter on love, but we really only see things in part.  I have begun to see the importance of asking God to help me see the big picture.  To remember that this life is short, and that I want it to count for something.  How does that help?? Because it makes you forget the small, meaningless stuff and move on.  A lot of people don’t know this because I kept it a secret, but Joel and I lost a precious little baby a few weeks ago.  I was sad.  It’s funny how you can grow to love a speck in your belly and want to protect it as much as possible, and I did.  I wasn’t successful.  I could see that as failure.  I could get stuck in the sadness of it, and I did because grief is essential to healing.  But I have a purpose.  I have a value, and I cannot and will not stay there.  Why??  First, because there will be more Borrelli children for Joel and I in the future.  That’s the truth.  Second, because I have a handsome, valuable, worth more than gold husband, who needs me to be his wife, to support him, to help run our house, to take care of our daughter.  He needs me. Third, I have a beautiful, precious, worth more than gold daughter, who needs me to ber her mom, to love her, to teach her, to take care of her needs, to laugh with her, to hold her, to rock her.  She needs me.  Fourth, I have a loving, valuable, worth more than gold family who needs me to be their daughter/daughter-in-law, sister, cousin, niece, granddaughter, etc.  They need me.  Fifth, because I have awesome, close, worth more than gold friends who need me to be their friend, confidant, encourager, supporter, adviser, idea giver.  They need me.  All those things make me valuable.  God has given me people in my life.  He has given me purpose.  That makes me valuable to Him, and I was valuable to Him far before all those people existed when He sent His son to die for me.  That’s pretty awesome!

God did that for every person on the planet.  So you are so valuable to God.  Don’t believe me?  Psalms 8:3-6 says: 

When I consider your heavens,  t

he work of your fingers, 

the moon and the stars,

 which you have set in place,

what is mankind that you are mindful of them,

 human beings that you care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels[e]

 and crowned them with glory and honor.

You made them rulers over the works of your hands;

 you put everything under their feet.  

 

I hope you see the little e superscript next to angels in the previous verses.  The real translation is a little lower than God, not angels.  That’s pretty awesome.  He only thinks of us as a little less than himself.  He made us to be like Him, and He values nothing more than us.  So not only does the creator of the universe value you, but He created a whole bunch of people in your life and on the outskirts of your life that need you.  If we really saw things in full, life would never be meaningless, because it would never be about the pursuit of things, although they’re nice to have and necessary.  It would be about the pursuit of our value in relationship to the people around us.  

Oh, that we would begin to see the big picture.  We each have value, but the one person that often fail to see value in is ourselves.  We have a purpose.  The body can’t function fully without all it’s part.  We are the body of Christ, and if I decide not to fulfill my purpose then there are people left untouched, hurting, desperate.  God needs us to recognize the value of ourselves and use it to benefit others.

So if you are miserable in life, stop valuing misery, and instead value, the big picture.  People need you.  Each of you have those people in your life that need you, too.  Their lives will never be the same without you.  So single person, there is a spouse out there who needs you.  SAHM or SAHD, there are children out there who need you healthy, whole, and focused because this world we live in is lost.  Wives, your husbands need you to build them up, to encourage them, to be financially responsible (I’m talking to myself–lol), to give yourselves to them, to respect them.  Husbands, your wives need you to love them and romance them, express their worth to them, create an environment where they are an essential piece of your family’s adventure, to tell them how beautiful they are inside and out.  Friends, your circle of friends needs you more now than ever.  They need support, encouragement, and laughter to face the challenges of life.

It’s never hopeless, if you see the big picture and you know your value.  If you value the changes you need to make to play your part, life will be worth living and you will not lose focus even when tempted.  So what do you need to do?  Believe the best in others?  Lose  weight? Let go of worry?  Play with your kids? Make dinner for your family?  Change one more diaper?  Read one more book?  Rock your child one more time?

Do it.  But do it with purpose.  It changes everything.  I can’t say purpose will make your journey easy, but it will make it more worthwhile than you can imagine.  I’m needed here by the people God has surrounded me with and the people I haven’t met yet, including my future children, future friends, future family members.  So are you.  Lots of people are counting on you.  You have value no matter what station of life or stage of life you are in.  My daughter can’t function without me, but she needs her dad, her Mimi(who she adores….you should hear her say her name), her Papou, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, her friends, her Pastor.  She needs all those people to navigate life.  Share the value that you have with yourself, so you can go out and give it away to others.  There is great desperation all around you, but you can be the instrument of change and hope in someone’s life, especially if you are a mom!

It’s funny, this blog turned out radically different than I thought.  I believe there is a purpose in that, too.  If I could ask one thing as I bear my soul here, no sad remarks or comments for our loss.  It was a loss, and it was sad.  You can feel the sadness, but don’t let it be your focus.  It’s not mine.  That baby is with God, and one day, I will hold him or her  and be with them for eternity.  Instead, see the big picture.  There is hope.  There is value in everyone!

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About ajoyborrelli

My daughter, Emme, came into my life in December of 2011. I recently resigned a teaching position to be a stay at home mom and take care of her. This blog chronicles our days, activities, and lessons learned along the way!
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