Well, today is the day. It’s August 4, and it’s my 32nd birthday. My husband and daughter are asleep. When I left them I unwound my fingers from the man that I love and loves me, and pulled that arm out from underneath the head of an angel that was sleeping with her head on my shoulder. The scene was actually quite perfect. All that I imagined a birthday morning could be unless you add sleeping in, but I am not lost on that. So I decided to come down and blog, which I haven’t done for quite some time.
This blog very simply is about goodness and mercy and growth and change and all the at hands of a Savior that loves me. Last year on my birthday, I was still having trouble breathing from anxiety. I was fearful of what my day would bring, and when I woke each morning, I sometimes had to talk myself out of bed. But God has so richly walked beside me in grace and changed me and helped me change from being so Martha to being more Mary. I’m on my way, but my journey isn’t over. It won’t be until I stand face to face with the God who loves me more than I deserve, but He loves me and He has never left me.
Isaiah 58:11 has become a verse that is true and changing my life day by day. It says, “The Lord will guide me continually, and satisfy my needs in parched p laces, and make my bones strong; and I will be like a watered garden.” It’s my dream to give this life away….to be so full and so strong that I constantly am being used to refresh others. Why? Because God refreshed me. He took my hopeless, my weakness, and and fears, and yes, it was work. It was a constant trust in Him and not me, and today, I woke up satisfied. I woke up without the fear and dread of last year.
I want you to know that this year will be a year of growth for me, not because I am striving in my own strength, but because I am trusting the easy yoke of the love of Jesus Christ. I am abandoning my wisdom for His and my strength for His, and I am trusting His leading more than my working. He has taken things and worked them out fantastically for us. We sold our home to our great friends without a realtor through about 5-7 text messages after she mentioned looking for a home on our street. By this time next year, and I don’t know where it will come from, but we will have a beautiful home. One that could have only been provided by a loving God, in an area we love where we can be a blessing to the children and community around us and be a light and hope in our neighborhood, but it will be also be home that more than meets our needs and exceeds our expectations. I believe the people will know we are coming and God will provide richly for us. Because He wants to use our home to bless others, and because He wants to bless us.
God has taught me so many things this year, and He doesn’t just want it for me. And it just wasn’t some perfect, no bumps in the road kind of year. I am coming day by day to trust Him because His provision is always in front of me, because I don’t need to figure everything out in my own brain, because He’ll juggle the balls for me instead of making me trying to figure out where they will land, because He isn’t using me to help others without wanting to help and bless me too. because He loves me so much He wants me to enjoy my life too, and because He will never leave me or forsake, and His plans and His provision is far better than my way. It’s a straighter path to His will, fulfillment, and love.
Am I tempted to take my eyes off Him? Do I have days where I want to scream because I don’t see it right now? Do I have to be patient when I just want to run ahead? Are there days I feel like a failure? The answer is yes, but I am coming to see the temptations to not continue as worthless, and the thoughts that are contrary to His Word as lies. I am starting to see the value in patience, and somehow He always sends someone or a sermon or something across my path to help me not give up, If you are on the verge of giving up today, DON’T DO IT! God has awesome things ahead of you. Our pastor, John Nuzzo, always says, your ship may not turn around over night, but it will turn, and you can change the course of your family’s history forever with one simple decision to follow the God who loves you desperately….who was willing to create you and then purchase you back after man willingly chose to satisfy his own lusts and flesh. God is incredibly loving, and He will talk to you. I am not special. I am not any person who has done anything to deserve His grace and mercy. I am simply His. His love and blood bought me, and it qualifies me. It gives me the standing in His eyes, and it takes all the pressure of me.
Do you want a new life? One that will day by day and step by step take you to live on the mountain of God? Then give your life and heart to the one who loves you and will never leave your side. Ask God to come and live in you. Tell Jesus you need Him each and every day, and I promise even on the toughest days, He won’t leave. And in a year from now, you might turn around and see how the smallest of daily steps and trust have brought you farther than you might have imagined. If you asked God to live in you, please go to josephprince.org and sign up to receive His daily grace inspirations. I love these each morning before I start my day.
I have been a Christian all my life, but I never really knew trusted Him and knew Him. This year has been a challenge for me because I am normally the one in control. but it feels good to let the God of the universe direct me because He will lead me to the places He wants me to go. I’m blessed today and everyday because I have the limitless love, grace, and power of God living in me. He is good far beyond what you could ask or think. He has provided things that I desperately needed this year like ever growing peace, soundness of mind, new and strong friendships for me and Emme and Joel, provision financially since quitting my job to stay home with Emme, wisdom in marriage, the ability to still give and bless those around us, trips to visit friends and family that we never could have afforded without him, and fun in every day life. He’s worth it, and it was all Him. My only part was to trust and follow Him. That’s it. He is FAITHFUL, and He LOVES you! MY prayer for anyone who reads this is that by your next birthday you start to believe that the impossible is possible because of Jesus.