Sometimes, I wonder…

I’m on the couch today.  Sick.  Sneezing, half sleeping, coughing, and being generally disgusting with a sore hip.  I let my daughter watch TV all day long with a little play time and a little computer time in there.  I ate badly.  I heated a meal up from the freezer in my microwave (Erin Brown–lol), and then proceeded to slather peanut butter on wheat thins and fudge covered grahams and nilla wafers.  Judge me go ahead.  I’d judge me.  My only defense is that at least I brushed my teeth and changed my clothes…oh and Emme’s too.  So we are okay.  Everyone is alive.  We are good.

But sometimes, I wonder, “Does He care?”  Does He see me?  Does He care that my mind races with all I need to do for the family He has given me, and I just need a break?  Does He care that I’m stuffy?  Does He care that my hip is sore?  Does he care that I need rest?  Does he care about the stain I can’t get out of Emme’s clothes?  Does He care about the dinner I need to make for my family?  Does He care about all the details and compartments of my life?

God has been challenging me to trust Him.  Challenging me not to run through every detail of my life and belabor it, but to trust Him with it.  To let Him work out the details, and to trust that He will talk to me and teach me in such a way that shows He is God, and I don’t have to do His jobs.  I don’t have to hold and juggle all the balls.  I can walk with Him and trust Him in all areas of my life.  I don’t need to compartmentalize anymore.  He wants to invade me and live in me and help me with every thing.

So you ask, how can you be sure you will hear Him?  How can you be sure you won’t miss it?  How can you be sure He is there?  Two reasons, I’ve given before, but I’ll give again because they’re His reasons not mine.  Reason 1 is beautiful from the Message: John 10:1-5:  “Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he’s up to no good—a sheep rustler! The shepherd walks right up to the gate. The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. They won’t follow a stranger’s voice but will scatter because they aren’t used to the sound of it.” You are His.  He is yours, and when you get to know the One who loves you and the One you were made to love, His voice becomes unrecognizable.  Think of your husband or wife.  You know their voice.  It’s unmistakable and so is Jesus’ in your heart.  Second, if you do miss it, you have an advocate at the right hand of the Father who is faithful to forgive you and His mercies are new every morning. (I John 2:1, I John 1:9, Lamentations 3:22-23)

Well, in the midst of my misery today, I decided since church didn’t work out this weekend due to snow and sickness that I would listen to a message to kind of set my heart right.  I was sick yesterday and down right nasty to the people I love most, but I have good friends who God uses to remind me that we all deal with the same issues, and He is there and faithful to help if we will listen.  So today, I put on a message by Judah Smith.  I know, I know you are tired of hearing about him, but all I can say is how good he is because he makes Jesus the main thing, and when that happens, you change.  It was called It’s Easy to be a Mary when you’re not a Martha.  I can only find it on YouTube.  Here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hck9Gz9YUPY.  So I listened and faithful God reminded me in a way I was sure to hear that I can continue on my path trusting Him to provide and He would because that is Who He is and that is what He came for.

God doesn’t compartmentalize our lives like we do.  We think of secular and sacred parts, but to Him, all parts are sacred because we are sacred.  He cares about my laundry, dinner, my rest, my health, my hip.  None of those things are secular to Him.  He doesn’t just care about the encouragement I try to give others or my service at church or my dedicated prayer time and Bible reading.  You see those things are for me.  They benefit me just as much as they benefit Him and others, but He said I could cast my cares on Him because He cares for me, and He will perfect all that concerns me.

So moms, dads, singles, marrieds with children and without, whoever you are, but I talk mostly to SAHMs and SAHDs here because that’s the journey of life I am in, He sees you.  He knows life is made up mostly of Martha moments, and those moments in the midst of our responsibilities that we get to dedicate our attention to solely Him are wonderful, amazing, life giving, He knows those are precious and He will make those count in big powerful ways for you, but take Him into your everyday.

Take him into your eating, sleeping, cooking, sickness, sore hip, laundry, playtime, cleaning, diaper changing, etc because He cares.  Don’t compartmentalize and leave Him out because all areas of your life are sacred because you are sacred to Him.  Judah’s premise in this message was that He wasn’t rebuking Martha for her responsibilities, He was rebuking her for leaving Him out.  For thinking He didn’t care about those things, and honestly, part of my heart believes, when you’re a Martha, and I am a recovering one, there are things that you make mountains out of that don’t matter.  Let them go and enjoy the true responsibilities and desires of your heart knowing He will provide for them.

Tell Him about your baby’s diaper rash, He will give you wisdom and will provide the relief you and your children need.  Tell him about that red pepper stain you just can’t get out of your daughter’s shirt, but she loves them and you can’t make her stop eating them but you don’t want to buy a new shirt either.  He will help you get the stain out.  Tell Him about the plans you have for dinner and watch Him help make that task easier.  Tell Him you need to lie down and rest so your body can recover and trust that when that happens He will help you get all the other items on your list done.  Tell Him about it all–what  you need and what you want.  Because He cares.  When you believe that you live life differently…truly knowing Him as Savior in every area of life.  That’s who He wants to be.  Because at times, who isn’t overwhelmed by the overwhelming or even the mundane.  But He is there in every moment….waiting to help.

I love this paraphrase from the Message, and if we believe this is Who God is, then life can be radically different.  Romans 12:1-2 Place Your Life Before God ] So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

You aren’t lost.  He hasn’t turned a blind eye to you.  He is just waiting for you to let Him invade every area of your life to help you and give you abundance.  Trusting Him is beautiful.

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About ajoyborrelli

My daughter, Emme, came into my life in December of 2011. I recently resigned a teaching position to be a stay at home mom and take care of her. This blog chronicles our days, activities, and lessons learned along the way!
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