Did you ever look around and compare yourself to another mom who you felt really had it all together and could do it all? Do you ever ask yourself that question? How does she do it all? I know it almost seems like a challenge to add more to your schedule, but I believe that filling your schedule to the max and adding more and more to your to do’s will not bring satisfaction. It is just another wheel to spin, another ball to juggle, and pretty soon, you won’t be satisfied and you’ll have to add something else. It’s just like wanting more stuff. Will you ever stop? And I am not saying stuff is bad, but if you just want more, you will always want more stuff, and you will never be satisfied.
Contentment is sexy. I stole that phrase from Judah Smith. I know. I know. You hear about him a lot. But in my almost 33 years of life I never thought I would really believe that, but I do. To be content with where you are is so sexy. Why? Because you can rest. You can be okay with your strengths and your weaknesses. You aren’t putting off growth, but you don’t have to be the same as other people. You can just be you. You can really begin to enjoy life. And while my mind thinks it’s elusive, my heart believes it can be a reality.
So how do we get there? Sometimes, you have to say no. You don’t have to do everything everyone wants you to do. You create boundaries in your life to protect you from things and people that steal joy. Sometimes that’s projects around the house, sometimes that’s extracurricular activities for your kids, sometimes that chores around the house, sometimes that’s volunteer projects, and sometimes that’s things that seem like the right things to do. God didn’t make you to do it all. So you’ll have to slow down and ask God what to do, but He’ll show you and you will be fulfilled.
It means stopping to smell the roses. There is so much beauty around us, and we don’t see it. I often don’t see it because I have to much to do and so many thoughts in my brain. I don’t see the beautiful flowers, the perfect sky at night, the beauty of a sun rise, the gorgeous smile in my daughter’s eyes, the fuzzy hair growing on my son’s head, the chore my husband did for me because he knows I need the help. Stop and just take it all in for a moment. There’s so much beauty you’re missing.
Enjoy the simple things and accept the mess. You know I make my kids harder than they have to be. I don’t have to have 15 pinterest crafts planned for my kids each day to be a good mom. I had a good friend post that the most interesting thing to a child is the face of their parent, and I am going to add the face of parent who is really present. Who can see that gleam of light in their eyes, who can laugh with them, be silly with them, and just love them. Simply stated…just be you with your kids. You don’t have to have perfect words or activities. They just want to be with you. Sit down and hold them and watch a cartoon. Draw pictures even if you are really bad at it. Watch them play. They love and embrace what they’re doing. When was the last time you did that? And everyone once in a while let the floors be sticky and the furniture covered in dust and the carpets unswept and the laundry unfolded.
Date your spouse. When you have kids, life changes. I know I am preaching to the choir. Most of you know that, but often times, marriage relationships suffer because couples become parents and not lovers anymore. Go out on monthly dates. Go away for a night or weekend or week and be married. One day your kids will move out, and it’ll be just the two of you again. Be ready for that. Rekindle the romance before the flame goes out. Laugh. Have fun. Do something different. Talk about your goals. Be a couple again, but don’t be afraid to be individuals as well and enjoy activities with friends, too.
Trust God. Sometimes one of the hardest parts of being a SAHM is finances and trusting God with those. God loves you and He is better than you can ask or think. Trust Him to lead you to opportunities to better your finances, and He will more than take care of all your needs big and small. And don’t just trust Him with finances trust Him with all the things I mentioned above. Ask Him for grace to enjoy the little things, date your spouse, play with your kids, lead you and guide you. He created all things for you to enjoy including a relationship with Him. Let Him juggle the balls, so you aren’t trying to keep them all in the air. Then take a deep breath, exhale, and enjoy…maybe for the first time in a long time.
You know those moms. The types that seem to do it all. Do they really exist? Some do. And we all ask, how do they do it? I have moms like this in my life, and I give them kudos. However, I have begun to realize that I don’t have to be one of those moms…I can just be me…the mom I am. And that’s perfect.