Perfection is Ill-Fitting

It’s one of my favorite verses.  I have talked about it a lot, and I just can’t get away from it.  Mostly because I believe it is the heart of our Father, who is so good.

I love this translation because it says He will never lay anything ill-fitting on us.  That He’ll teach us how to live freely and lightly.  Why? Because He loves us.

Did you ever spend time with your kids and know that they needed correction but instead you gave grace?  Why?  Because you love them.  Because you know in that moment, maybe it’s the grace of knowing that though I was wrong, mom sees me.  She knows in this moment grace is what my heart needs.  I have done that.  Days where Emme certainly deserved the correction, but she had already been corrected enough and it was too heavy for her to carry.

Do you know God is the same way?  I have come to know Him as the ultimate rescuer of my soul.  He knows when I need a push, when I need rest, and when I need comfort.  He’s eyes really see me, and His heart is tender to my human condition.  He knows I am flesh, and at times, my flesh is weak, and while I want to drive on, rest is what I need more.  The ability to trust that He is enough in my moment of weakness and cast everything on Him.

You all know that I have dealt with hormonal imbalance after coming off the pill and weaning my kids.  My body is getting back to normal hormone levels, and therefore, I am kind of all over the place.  I know women who read this understand, but if there is a man out there reading this and your wife is in the midst of this, be her rescuer.  Help her.  Hold her.  Remind her this too is a season that shall pass.  Anyway, in response to that, I tried to fix my emotions and my reactions, so perfection became my game.  What a bad idea!  The absolute worst thing for emotions all over the place is the demand to respond to them perfectly and control everything.  It makes you even crazier.

God was talking to me today, and He told me that His plan for me was never for me to end up perfect.  It would mean the end of my trust in Him and the ability to rely on myself.  So Jesus did come to set us free from the power of sin, and we can avoid lots of problems by trusting Him, but becoming sin free with perfect reactions is never going to happen.  And if you set that standard for yourself, you will fail.  And if perfection becomes your pursuit, you’ve already missed it.  Because the moment you accept Jesus, you are perfect.  Mind blowing I know.  But perfectly planned so that we would always be dependent on the one who loved us enough to create us, forgive us for our treason against Him, and set out to repurchase us all over again through His Son.

So anyway, perfection is ill-fitting.  He promised He would never lay that burden on us because He laid on the only One Who could handle it perfectly….Jesus.  Who then passed on to us all the blessings of perfection by trusting Him and not becoming perfect ourselves.  So if you see any perfect moms out there, it’s an illusion.  They don’t exist.  So stop trying to be one, like I did, and instead be the mom He created you to be.

Be you, whoever that is.  Enjoy your kids as much as you can, but understand everyone has bad days.  No one’s kids are perfect.  No mother has the perfect reaction to every situation.  And trying to becomes exhausting.  You aren’t going to look at your kids all day thinking of how much you love them and how everything they do is sweet and joyful.  That’s not real.  They are sinful.  Yes, you may have the understanding of how much they need you, but that will never make you perfect.  And most of that comes because each child and situation are unique.  There are going to be times when you need to put your child down and let them cry it out.  Sorry to all you out there who believe crying it out is never the answer.  I don’t buy the one size fits all because we are all unique individuals.  Plus the one size fits all is too great of a burden for one mom or family to fulfill.  There will be times for correction and for grace.  There will be times for healthy food and sweet treats.  There will be time for focus and concentration and lightheartedness and enjoyment.

I guess what I am saying is trust God.  Do what He tells you.  Be the person He created you to be with your kids, not a carbon copy of something that is just an illusion.  We see each other’s posts on Facebook and sometimes become deflated because we feel like we aren’t doing it right.  Well, few people ever post the whole truth of their whole day on Facebook, so stop comparing your weaknesses to someone else’s highlights.  And just remember, God never lays anything ill-fitting on you.  If you feel condemned or not good enough, that is not and never will be the voice of your Father.  Trust Him with every good day and every bad day you have because He is the great equalizer.  He turns all things around for our good because He is good.

I love you.  Keep your chin up.  Whatever season you are in, this too shall pass, but remember God is good in the midst of it, and if you’ll listen, He’ll speak the words your heart needs…whether it’s wisdom of what to do, simply rest, hope that things can be different, and the grace to help them change.  It’s why I love God.  He knows what you need, and it will NEVER be ill-fitting or burdensome.  Because if it’s a change you need to make, His grace will enable you to change your belief first so your behavior is transformed.



About ajoyborrelli

My daughter, Emme, came into my life in December of 2011. I recently resigned a teaching position to be a stay at home mom and take care of her. This blog chronicles our days, activities, and lessons learned along the way!
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