Did you ever get your feelings hurt? Your heart broken? Your dreams seemingly shattered? If you have lived at all, then you have answered at least one of those questions with a resounding yes. And it hurts, and you sometimes feel lost. But that love was never wasted.
I listened to a sermon a while back by Judah Smith….I know surprise, surprise. But seriously, listen to him. The way he talks Jesus is incredible, Anyway, Judah was talking about Jesus knowing that there would be people given the opportunity to know Him that would never choose to turn away from their sin and follow Him, and yet He died for them anyway. He loved them anyway. He longed for them anyway. Jesus knew Judas would betray Him. He knew Barabbas would go free and relish His freedom without turning. He knew the other thief on the cross would mock Him. He knew Peter would betray Him. And He knew so many more to come would never turn to Him. And yet He illogically loved all those people so much that He would die for them even knowing they would never choose Him. It seems crazy, but to a heart of love, that was worth it. And it has nothing to do with our potential to change or our willingness to choose Him. He seeks after us every moment because we are worth it to Him.
I am learning a lesson from Him on this. Love is never earned. It’s always given on the part of the giver. Approval can be earned, but love is illogical. Love chooses another about itself always. And that’s the best kind of love, the most worthwhile kind of love. It’s the kind of love you choose. It’s the kind of love that opens up your life, that creates beauty, fulfillment, and joy. It’s not easy. And it’s not always the feel good kind of love, but it’s the kind that makes life worthwhile. I’ve discovered that like Jesus I want to give my life away. To live out of my heart for my family, my friends, the people God has called me to because I am more than convinced that the one who wins in the end is me. It makes my life full.
You all know I have been struggling with hormonal imbalance and things have been going well. I have been writing a lot in a journal which really helps me to process this whole journey. For those of you who have struggled with hormones or anxiety/depression, I urge you to get a journal and process through your journey in a book. It will help you express yourself and move forward….to see your progression. But as I have gone through this journey, though parts have not been fun, I have realized how much all the things in my life are for me. My husband, my kids, my friends, my work, my family, my church, though all those things require me to give of myself, they all are the good things God has fulfilled my life with. They satisfy me. They give me memories, security, love, home, enjoyment, joy, purpose. I think sometimes in life when we get tired, all we see are the things we are giving to meet the need of the people around us, and we forget how much they are there for us as much as we are there for them.
Love is never wasted. Give it away freely. God will give you wisdom of the steps to take in order to love the people in your life the best way, but love always expands you. It never detracts from you. Pour your life into those people and visions that God has given you, and you’ll find the wide open spacious life He has called you to. Don’t give up. If you can go all in! Love is never wasted.