Stop Screaming at Me, Head!

Hey y’all, so you may be able to tell this from my writings, but I am pretty driven. tired I like to multitask, and I like to be busy.  And I am doing most everything I do because it’s in my heart, and it isn’t stressful….most of the time.  So though I have gotten my head right about it, that doesn’t mean my body doesn’t get tired.  Ever been there?  You like to be busy, but you just get down right pooped?  (Pardon the potty word, but it is just honest!)

7609847d06691594acae89626854f3a3That was me this week.  But can I tell you about my driven nature?  My driven nature tells me rest is weakness.  It is hard for me.  While my body is trying to rest, often times my mind is still going.  It is analyzing everything I am doing.  It is nagging me that I am not enough.  It is screaming at me the whole time I rest, so I am tempted every time to just keep going.  Ever been there?  It is hard to quiet the voices in my head, and because of it, I am tempted to just stay busy to avoid dealing with it.  But that is not good, at all.  And honestly, I need the rest to recalibrate the direction in which I am heading.

So I honestly had to sort through a barrage of thoughts and get myself straight.  I needed to hear my heart!  To realize that I have to STOP saying yes to every opportunity that comes available to me.  I don’t have to be a yes woman because it seems like it might loosely be affiliated with my calling, and I do have to get back to the heart of what I am doing.  20160123_060933-1_resizedI have to remind myself of why I stay home, why I am a health and fitness coach, why I have chosen the people to surround me that I have, and to just be thankful for how God has worked out the areas of my life.  Because you know what, my busyness is my form of control, but I don’t want to pilot my ship.  I want to allow Him to pilot my ship.  To be sensitive to His direction for my life, and not just do everything so I magically hit the bullseye because I was doing everything.  Boundaries, Amanda, Boundaries!

I struggle with that mostly because my head screams at me….through Facebook, through ambition, through comparison, through ideas.  And when I get quiet, I have to face all of them.  And I shutter at that a little.  Like it’s a rough couple days.  But as much as I want to avoid it, I know I have to get it right.  I know God needs to change my course maybe just be a degree or two and hear do you want to see Me work, or do you want to see what you can do? Ouch.  So I have friends I call when life gets like this.  I say hey, I am struggling tell me the truth while we drink coffee! And I force myself to watch a movie.  Why?  Because I NEED to slow down.  2 workouts a day 3x a week, blogging, making lunches, cooking dinners, motivating and encouraging people on their health journey, tutoring 2 little girls, being a mom, being a wife, leading a small group…though I know laying those things down is not the way I am to go….rest is needed every week to do them the way I want to do them out of my heart.

Pilots in the cockpit during a commercial flightBut that means I have to slow down and I have to allow those thoughts to come and ignore the ones that I know are lies and call them such, and then spend some quiet time with Jesus to allow Him to say….don’t go that direction.  Slow down here.  Let me be God.  The kids need this.  Joel needs that.  Message this person.  Slow down and watch a movie.  And yes, God says that to me because He knows I need it.  Controlling your brain and saying no when it’s hard isn’t easy, but it’s possible and it’s worth it.  Why?  Because God knows my heart, and He knows the direction I need to get there.  And if I don’t learn to rest in Him and control my brain, I will be overwhelmed, stressed, and burn out early.  I’ll miss out on my dreams or add extra stress and missteps.

The only way for me to do this though is to get quiet, spend time with Jesus, get the mess in my head straight, and recalibrate the direction of my business, my parenting, my wifehood (is that a word?), my friendships….everything.  And sometimes the process of slowing down just helps me enjoy the things in my life more.  I have time to see them for the amazing things that they really are!  Like my messy boy! I can laugh and take pics and not miss out on his amazing little self.  Or I can play legos with my daughter and hear how she chooses characters and laugh at the scenarios she comes up with.  Or I can make homemade lotion that I have been wanting to do because that is part of my personality, too! There has to be time for restoration!

Did you ever look at someone and think they never struggle?  Like they don’t have any issues.  They have it all together.  That is the biggest lie on the planet.  Everyone struggles, but if you want win in life, you have to get control of that thing between your ears.  You want to win in life?  You must be moved by the truth about who you are and learn how to respond to the lies and thoughts your brain sometimes tells you!  Everyone needs this, and we need to teach our kids how to do it early!  If we all did it, we would have a much more enjoyable life, following our own dreams, being our own selves, chasing our own dreams.

Easy? No.  Worth it?  Oh so much yes!  Be You!  Let God direct your life.  Spend time with Jesus who loves you and is not picking out your flaws.  Learn to recognize the lies you hear and replace them with the truth!  Ask for help!  Find friends who will tell you the truth when you are tired and need a rest, ones who know your heart! And slow down.  You just might be missing out on your heart and direction because you are trying to do it all!  Everything in your life will get better!  rest

So this week, I took 3 rest days from Hammer and Chisel.  So what am I doing?  Right now, I am not driving and doing 2 a days to catch up.  Right now, I am in a short season of resting.  So I am picking up where I left off and continuing.  I am not quitting.  You shouldn’t either.  Temporary delay isn’t failure.  It just may be exactly what you need!

 

 

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About ajoyborrelli

My daughter, Emme, came into my life in December of 2011. I recently resigned a teaching position to be a stay at home mom and take care of her. This blog chronicles our days, activities, and lessons learned along the way!
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